I can remember it clearly even though it was eight years ago. The setting is Ft. Benning, Georgia, home of the infantry. It was 8 P.M. Eastern time and we were in our Army sweats. Sweat dripped from our bodies as we carried our bunks down three flights of stairs. Once that laborious task was completed, we had to line our bunks exactly as they were in our barracks. Next we had to bring all of our shoes and line them up "dress-right-dress" in the proper order from boots to Class A dress shoes. Did I mention we had to line our bunks up in the grass? What could possibly have been the cause of such unconscionable behavior & bullying? We were in Basic Training and that's just how it goes in Basic is the simple answer. The goal of any Basic Training no matter the branch is to toughen you up. As a platoon, you're taught that you're only as strong as your weakest link. There's no time for weakness of the body or the mind. If you had an injury, no matter how serious, your were labeled, ostracized, and ridiculed. But after nine hellacious weeks, your baby boy was now a man!
While my Basic Training experience does not exactly qualify me to discuss the culture of an NFL locker room, I can't help but see many similarities. More than any other sport, the football is depicted as being played by warriors and gladiators. They risk life and limb to make a living entertaining us and win a seven pound piece of silver. It's a man's game that takes a certain level toughness. Weakness is not tolerated and is often leads to ridicule and derision. The kind of derision that is coming Jonathan Martin's direction. For those that don't know, Martin is an NFL player for the Miami Dolphins who left the team under the pretense of bullying and harassment from his teammates, most notably Richie Incognito. By now you may have read or heard the transcript of the vulgar voicemail/text message that Incognito allegedly sent to Martin that included calling Martin a "nigger" (the breadth of the transcript is in the link below). Many were outraged and called for Incognito to be removed from the Dolphins and black-balled from the NFL. Accusations of bullying and ostracism conjures up thoughts of the uptick in teen suicides over the last decade. Martin instantly became a sympathetic figure while Incognito was demonized in the media. However, not everyone is painting Martin as the victim; if anything, Incognito is the sympathetic figure in NFL circles.
Martin broke a cardinal rule in locker room etiquette; he didn't keep it in house! The feeling is that Martin should have stood up for himself and handled the other Dolphins' teasing and ridicule like a man. It doesn't help Martin's cause that multiple Dolphins' players have come out recently in defense of Incognito, Black players included. It has even been reported that the Black Dolphins players consider Incognito an "honorary Black guy". Whatever that means! It seems given the conclusion that can be drawn is that Martin may be the one that will be black-balled from the NFL, not Incognito. If that is the case, is this right? Is this fair?
My personal opinion is that Martin should have been able to go about his business. How he gets up for football games does not have to mirror what the collective does as long has he's ready to perform on any given Sunday. With that said, I believe Martin has done more harm than good by walking away. That is what bullies want you to do. Walking away validates their skepticism of you and confirms their prejudice stereotypes of you. Even if he felt the need to file a grievance with the NFL against the Dolphins, he should not have simply run away. Not much is known other than what is being reported. Was Martin subjected to worse taunting than the public voicemail suggests? Only time will tell who is culpable, Martin, Incognito, other unknown teammates, or the Dolphins organization as a whole. The second layer to this is this idea of manhood. Boisterous hubris seems to be synonymous with showing how much of a man one is in our society. If men don't talk about sports, brag about all the women they sleep with, or their cars, guns, or other objects/topics that personify masculinity, they gain no respect and not real men. I like sports as much as the next guy and can converse about many of the topics most men do, but that does not define me as a man. A real man excepts responsibility for his actions, good or bad. A real man is confident without being cocky. Real men are accountable not because society says to be. Men confront a problem and deal with it the best way they know how. Without knowing the details of what happened, this is where Jonathan Martin erred. His reaction to the bullying is not what makes those question his manhood; his perceived cowardice in the face of adversity is. What defines a man? Only God truly knows that. Until then, we are left to walk this tricky tight rope of masculinity and if we sway too far in one direction, we face ridicule. Perhaps owning up to our fears and mistakes is real manhood.
http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9941182/jonathan-martin-issues-several-miami-dolphins-agent-rick-smith-says
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/06/richie-incognito-racist-dolphins-teammates_n_4227099.html?ir=Sports
